Spiritual Life Revolution
By Bernadeth Herediano
People expect Christians to be strong emotionally and mature spiritually. Yes, that’s our goal, but we are not always successful! Have you encountered spiritual dryness? Have you felt empty even if you have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ? Have you faced spiritual warfare? If yes, then congratulations! You are a normal Christian. I, on the other hand, have experienced more than what I have mentioned above.
In Baptist Theological College, I, like any other student, expected that people who lived here were “holy”. I was mistaken. I thought spiritual dryness was an impossibility for a Christian who is also a BTC student. Again, I was mistaken. I can testify that great trials exist everywhere, especially in BTC.
I can still recall a challenge that happened to me when I was in my first year, which made me want to give up. That was midterm week when tuition fees needed to be paid. I actually dreaded it from the very beginning because I thought that since I couldn’t pay the fee I could not take my exam. Then I would probably end up riding a jeepney (local public transportation) to my home and never come back again. I was so devastated and started to doubt the Lord. I began asking, “Am I really called to study here?” I stared at the sky as if I was facing the Lord, and cried my heart out to Him. I thought I would sleep that night without getting any answers from Him. I was wrong. The Lord had prompted someone to pay for my fees. God could have answered me with a no, but I was reminded that He was the One who hand-picked me. I was so in awe that a simple “thank you” was not enough. But that was just one of the storms that I have experienced.
One of the worst times of my life happened a month ago. I still vividly remember how I struggled spiritually. I was so dry and I felt the same emptiness that I felt before I received Christ. I was so hot-headed and impatient, and had the ability to ruin someone’s day. On this particular day, I had a very chaotic fight with my siblings. The details are unnecessary, but I ran away from home to seek an escape, and to at least speak to the Lord. I admitted that there was a hole inside my heart. Something had been missing, and that piece was nowhere to be found. I was so sure that I had ruined my family, and restoring it was out of my control. It was depressing. Everything had rolled up into one, and I was left feeling cut off from everyone from my church to my family. All I was thinking was to flee from them. But then the Lord was really faithful to me, and at that moment His goodness, love and care were very evident in my life, and even in our family. The Lord touched our hearts –mine and my siblings. He reconciled us in His perfect timing. I could not say more than “Thank You, Lord.”
On the next day, class was supposed to start, but BTC faculty and staff delayed it. Instead, they created a program for all the students called “The Rev-Up Week”. I realized later, that God allowed all of those circumstances, the day before, for His purpose. He was actually preparing me for the coming week. If I hadn’t reconciled with my siblings at that time I knew I wouldn’t have been spiritually revived. I knew I would have always carried that burden, if the Lord had not helped me overcome it.
Sometimes we tend to forget the Lord in our lives. We tend to run to Him when we are in need, and ignore Him when He calls us. Personally, during the first semester this year, I always forgot to spare some time for the Lord, and even ignored Him when there was time and I heard Him asking me to have a date with Him. It all resulted in a dull, stagnant, and lifeless spiritual life. As a Christian, it scared me. I was afraid that one day the Lord would not listen to me anymore. I desired a solution, a revival for my non-growing spirit, but I found none. I knew I could not do it on my own. But that fateful week, the Lord answered my request. He watered my dry and thirsty spirit. Just like the rest of the students in BTC, I cried with a heart full of joy that finally, I found the solution that I had been seeking.
Through BTC, God has revolutionized my inner being that was nearly dying. I realized how empty my gas tank was and that the only solution for it was to refuel it through spending time in the Word of God. In order to refuel your soul, you need to devote yourself to the Word of God.
For the whole week, we were relaxed physically, we were revived spiritually, and although we have drunk and eaten from the Word of God, we still hunger for it. That Rev-Up week helped me personally to be prepared for the coming classes. And right now, I have faithfully spent my quiet time with the Lord, and I have finally become a good student.
BTC is very instrumental in spiritual growth and maturity. The school’s faculty and staff show their lives as beautiful examples that constantly make me reflect on my own. If I would be given a chance to choose what school to study at, I would always choose BTC in spite of any discouragements, challenges, struggles, frustrations, depressions, and even resentments. Why? Because I am here for a purpose. And that purpose is not just to show to the world that I have finished a degree, or to boast about my success. My purpose here is to be equipped and trained to become an effective leader and teacher who will be used by the Lord in ministry for the glory of God.